Saturday, March 5, 2011

How could it have ever been 8 to 1 for hatred?

When I look at the make up of the Supreme Court I see some Justices I agree with 90% of the time and Justices I disagree with 90% of the time. I am totally mystified as to how these two groups could possibly come to the conclusion that a bunch of God damned phony Christians can be allowed to do what they do.

Now I could rant all day and well into next year about these people and the Supreme Court on this one.

But, I had a better idea. I went through the rusty old scrap pile of humor on my harddrive and found this gem of a joke. I'll take it and reword it for the times.

Becky and her girlfriend are on the beach applying sunscreen to each other.

(Let me take a minute to enjoy that visual.

........
........

I'm back.)

Where was I? OH-YEAH! Becky and her girlfriend are on the beach applying sunscreen to each other. When at that moment all around loud mouth, desperate for attention, party-pooper extraordinaire: Freddie Felching Phelch Phelps (who cares) comes running over to ruin all our good times.

As the turd of the human race is running, he stubs his toe on an object in the sand. This causes it to come flying out and lands in Becky's bikini-clad lap. She picks it up it and examines what looks like a lamp. You know, the one from every TV show and movie about genies. Then it begins to a rumbling and a shaking. A cloud of smoke erupts from the business end and it forms a beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman dressed as a genie. (Think Barbara Eden.)

"Thanks to this man I have been freed from a thousand year imprisonment. He may have three wishes."

"I WISH..."

"WIAT A MINUTE!!!" Becky interjected. "I"M the one holding the lamp when you came out, don't I get any consideration?"

"You're right, he gets two wishes, and you can have one. Now, sir, what are your wishes?"

"Oh I can't wait." Becky murmured.

"I wish for a 100 foot tall impenetrable wall all the way around my land." Genie crosses her arms, nods her head and a loud 'boing' is heard.

"Done! Your next wish?"

"I wish for all true believers like me to be inside this wall. We will be safe from satan's temptations and when The Rapture happens it will be easy for The Lord to find us." Once again Genie does the voodoo that she do so well and the self-professed reverend disappears.

"Done. Now you wish is..."

"You know, we could just end the bit right here where everybody is happy....... NAAAAAAAA! It's time for me to poop on their party." Becky said. "Genie, I have some questions: this wall describe it to me."

"It's 100 feet tall, 10 feet wide, goes all the way around and nothing can get in or out."

"'...Nothing can get in or out.' Check. Now, every piece of (bleep) that goes around protesting funerals of fallen heroes and little girls shot to death are inside this wall?"

"Yes."

"Genie, I wish for you to FILL IT FULL OF WATER!"

"Done! Well, I guess I should get back in the lamp now."

"No way! Stay out and enjoy some time in the sun. But first, you're looking kind of pale after being in that lamp for so long, you need sunscreen. Me and my girlfriend would be more than happy to help you apply it.

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