Wednesday, February 24, 2010

And Now Presenting: Ass Zombies.

Many the expert has said one of the most important features of a web site is the title bar. You should place the most pertinent information there so search engines can index it better.

Of course I'm not one to pay attention to those who are alot smarter than me.

Last year one of the local newspapers ran a "bad cartoon" contest. I was all over that. I must have been one of a few to actually send some in because I was chosen to be published. I guess I can toot my own horn here and say this: How many sprite comics can say that they have been published in a newspaper without having to pay the advertising fees?

To be included on the same page with Ass Zombies, I'm honored.

I sent in six cartoons, all five of Mayor's Aid Plea Agreement and the only up for a couple days 2009 Halloween comic. To be honest, I really wanted the Halloween comic published, just hoping that someone would ask what all the costumes are.

I was really wanting to publish the Ass Zombies cartoon so you all could see it, but do to copyright reasons I can't.

I can hear you now: "BULLS**T! You routinely post other people's comics!" Yes, I do. Here's the difference: You see, Dave Anez lives a couple thousand miles away from me. In order to sue me he will have to file in the superior court of his state. Then go through the superior court of my state. A very expensive proposition. However, VK Cleary can go to any phonebook, find my address, and beat the crap out of me.

So instead I'll do my own Ass Zombies and tweak it to my twisted humor style.

Saturday, February 20, 2010


That's a joke, right? Capcom's just pulling our legs on that one, right? No, really? No, kidding?

Sheepman, that's the best Capcom could do? How about Ramman? I know it has been used in another cartoon, but that hasn't stopped Capcom before.

Hey Capcom! You can have Phoenixman! I'll just change his name to Pyroman or something. You can have that one too! I also have a Rotorman and Wattman you can use.

Take 'em! You don't have to give me credit. Like you would anyway.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Hatred By RKS.

For some reason RKS has generated a tremendous amount of hatred. Am I talking about people who played the game and don't like it? No. People who haven't played the game and don't like it? No. Church groups? Nope. Atheists? Nada. It is fans of RKS poisoning the internet with comments on forums and blogs.

Who are these fans? They are people that have appointed themselves the elite. Their words are the only opinions allowed. Their art is the only consideration. Their fanfics are the only just and true. They are the elite fans, or as I like the call them: the Magnificent Fans. (MFers for short.)

What are the MFers talking about? Pirates uploading the game to free download sites? No. People hacking the game and filling it full of viruses? Nope. People having taken credit for making the game? Nada.

The first thing that sets off these Magnificent Fans is fan art that they didn't create in the first place. They wouldn't call it crap, but they call it crap. They go to sites that host art and trash all that is not in the same exact style used in RKS. Completely ignorant of the fact that RKS uses several animation styles. Apparently the MFers never read any comic books. Often fan art is published in mainstream books. I flipped through an old issue of Sonic the Hedgehog. A page dedicated to people as young as ten able to draw really well, and those who don't draw so good. You see, the professionals at Archie appreciate their fans and the time and effort it takes to do fan art. And the bravery it takes to send off one's work to get reviewed that may never even get looked at in the first place. Posting on the internet is even braver. There are people who sole purpose is to take a dump on those who are not to the Magnificent Fans standards.

While on this subject, if you happen to have the Saturn Version Of Megaman 8, there is a fan art section. By the way, most of the robot masters Capcom chose are from fan art.

Now away from fan art and into the next item that sends the MFers into wild fits. They get out the venom-fuel flame cannons for this. What is it? Fanfics. You read that right. Fanfics. The Mfers hate fanfics they don't write themselves. Some of the stuff that is said goes beyond the pale. Rosie O'Donnell would tell these people to chill out. If you decide to give say Luste an older brother, you're a retard. (Their word.) You'd be lucky to get called just that.

You know all those Star Wars and Star Trek books? All fanfics. They are officially sanctioned, but that doesn't mean even Bill Shatner follows the exact characterizing of CPT Kirk.

The people that do the fanwork based on RKS are accused of distorting the game. That someone might happen across one of these fanfics is a complete idiot and not know what Google is. I do know and tried it out. Hilarity ensued. A couple of the people that were falsely accused of stealing RKS through their fanfics actually placed higher, A LOT higher, than the MFers forums. Now the Magnificent Fans will say "See, this proves it, we must seek out and destroy these retards (once again, I am quoting them) because they are ruining RKS!" You guys are smart, you tells us so all the time, and of course a smart person will listen when someone who wasn't sick the day the computer class talked about Google tells you about it.

One of the methodologies (I spelled that right one the first try) that Google uses to rank pages is what term or terms is used and what page is clicked on. So when the MFers trash a site, people actually look it up, and go there. What is written all over these sites? Why Rosenkreuz Stilette. Also Google ranks sites by what common search terms appear on the page. These sites that are trashed are chocked full of the phrase Rosenkreuz Stilette. Funny things is, go to the haters sites and Rosenkreuz Stilette rarely appears. So now you know another reason why I call them Magnificent Fans.

Now, I posit the theory that it is the MFers ruining RKS. Taking me for example, if I had seen some of this crap written by fans of other fans, I would have given up and never would have found out how to legally buy the game. I never would have found out how to hack the music.

We are all fans of RKS. We all have our on little ways of showing it. Some like drawing, some write, and some point of every little pixel that is a reference to another game. I am not asking we hold hands and sing "Kumbaya." I merely ask that we respect each other.

Hell, the guys that riffed "Artemis's Lover" respected the work and the guy who wrote it.

Friday, February 5, 2010

RKS Musical Chairs

Has CPT Archer ever uttered the phrase "Oh boy" after transporting into a weird situation?

First of all you will need a LEGITIMATELY PURCHASED COPY of Rosenkreuzstilette. This only works on copies bought from legit resellers such as
(Okay I tell a lie. Just between you and me it works on pirated copies as well. I'm just trying to get the programmers some cash for their hard work.)

Next you will need the RKS Data Archive Decoder.

Third you will need to grab up Audacity for the editing and encoding.

Now go to your RKS folder on your hard drive and copy it elsewhere. You don't want to screw up your original. Trust me, you will be screwing with it. Using the RKSDAD to turn the bgm.dat file into a folder chocked full of all the music in the game. (This is done by merely dragging and dropping the .dat files onto RKSDAD.) Now read closely. I am going to say this on the next line in all caps so you can't miss it:

Let me repeat that:

Your eyes are not deceiving you. I said delete it. You don't need any more. The game will run fine without it. As long as the bgm folder is there. Also, if you don't get rid of the .dat file all the work you do won't turn up in the game.

Go into the new bgm folder and you will see two different types of files: an OGG and an INI. This time I don't recommend deleting all the INI files. What the INI does (from what I can figure) is pretty much tell the game at what point in the song to loop from. I recommend that you delete an individual INI on a per song basis.

Let's choose a song to change. How about the one titled 'decision?' I'm picking this song so I can go into a long boring technical explanation behind one of the reasons why I said to use Audacity. When you see the waveform of 'decision' you should notice that it is longer than eight seconds. However when playing RKS the whole song doesn't play. Only about four to four-and-a-half seconds is played. The rest is cut off. Whatever song you do choose to replace 'decision' with, you may want to edit it down a bit.

After choosing the replacement song. (Doesn't matter what, you can use 'Panties in the Glove Box' for all I care.) I usually open the new song up in another instance of Audacity, Ctrl-A, Ctrl-C, go to the RKS song, Ctrl-A, delete, and finally Ctrl-V. At about this point in time is when I make the necessary edits and volume fixes.
When you're ready, you need to export the file as an Ogg Vorbis. It has to be in Ogg format. I tried MP3 and it didn't work. Audacity will ask if you want to overwrite the original file, say yes. Turn on the game and your new sound should play.

There's still trial and error going on. Remember those INI files? This is where they can create havoc. If you picked a new song that is shorter than the amount of time it takes you play a stage, the song will start over. The INI file make the song restart from the middle. If I was smart enough, (and had any patience at all) I could decode the numbers in the INI. But, I'll just stick to what I know. I edit the song so they are much longer or loop correctly.

Update so many years later.

Amazingly enough I did get a comment to my YouTube channel asking about this very subject. Instead of directing this brave soul to here or here, I decided to update this post.
(Maybe he'll like Penny giving colorful commentary on the news and tell all his friends about it. Please.)

Monday, February 1, 2010

I'm probably not the first

I just did a quick experiment with RKS2. I wanted to see if it was possible to change the music to other songs in my collection. It worked. I'll detail how next week. Of course I'm probably a year behind and all of you already know how.