I seriously doubt there is anyone who
was reading the comic back in 2006 that still is. I know that no one
is going into the archive to read the Season 18 run of comics. In
them is a series of comics of me poking fun of an eye surgery.
That all started when I was just a
little boy. I was born with a defect in my eye that if I didn't get
fixed I would have gone blind in that eye. Due to circumstances
beyond my family's control, I was never able to get the follow ups I
needed. It really wasn't much of an issue. I can't see what I call "artificial 3D." When you put those goggles on what I see is barf inducing semi-interlaced double images. That aside I was still able to get my driver's license
and graduated high school (thank goodness for spell checks, guess
which one in this sentence I got wrong on the first try.) My eye was
not much of an issue. The state has me declared legally blind in that
eye, but they have never given me any guff over it.
The Army on the other hand.
Since I couldn't pass the eye test with
that eye I couldn't get licensed by my company. So each and every time went to a new unit I
had to go to the ophthalmologist and get permission from the doctor to
drive a Humvee. Every time I saw the doctor they would say they could
fix that problem. I turned them down because I simply didn’t have
the time and as a private I had no pull. They also didn’t explain to me what was going on.
Then one did. He told me that while the
surgery I had as a kid wasn't new, no one had done any follow up
surveys until years after my surgery. It had been found out that the
charts used at the time were off by one millimeter. Using the new
charts he could fix my eye and if that was successful I could have
normal vision like everybody else. I decide to do it because I was now a sergeant and had some pull. Also I had decided not to re-enlist and go home anyway so get it done now. I could get it done before going to Afghanistan and it should heal up a short while later. I talked it over with my chain of
command and in December of 2004 I went under the knife.
2005 turned into the year of hell for
me and my eye was to blame for most of it. You see, double vision was
supposed to be a good thing. Why? That meant my brain was still using
my eye. After things healed up my eye would go into its proper
position and thing would be good. That never happened. After six
months things got bad. The double vision was making me nauseous and I
was having dizzy spells whenever object at high speed moved from eye
to eye. I tried toughing it out as much as possible but by the end of
the year I was sent home from Afghanistan to get more surgery.
Little over a year after this whole
thing started I had two more surgeries which put me back to where I
was before this whole thing started, mostly. If I'm tired from a long
day of work, sometimes the double vision will be there. A good nap
takes care of that.
I think it was a valuable lesson learned.
If it really doesn't need to be fixed, then don't.
I don't blame any one but myself for
all the trouble I went through. I'm the one who said yes.
Here's some videos about the setup and beginning play. This does work on the latest versions of Virtualbox and React OS.
https://www.virtualbox.org/
https://reactos.org/
Update 3-21-18
Futzing around with ReactOS. Seems pretty stable. Played all the way through the intro and past Lewton and Carlotta's office banter with no crashes. AT FULL SCREEN! Now trying to figure out how to get the sound work consistently. Unfortunately on the rare occasion it does there's what sounds like a reverb on the voices.
Update 1-18-15
I spent some time in the past week loading up Windows 10 and trying out Discworld Noir. It was pretty frustrating at first because my test machine for some reason doesn't like DWN. I did everything. Even went into the registry to reroute all the paths and rename the file on the C drive. Let me tell you what, Windows 10 is not easy to learn for people who have been using Windows for about 15 years. (Any particular reason why Accessories needed to be renamed and moved to the bottom of the Start menu?) The test machine was a failure.
During the weekend I loaded Windows 10 on my main machine and Discworld Noir worked about as well as you'd expect. On a new game you have to play in windowed mode until you have control of Lewton then you can go back to full screen. An interesting tidbit for loading saved games I learned is that when you are on the title screen you can press F1 to bring up the menu and load a game that way. No crashing at full screen.
I did do some checking into the Debug Mode I heard about and couldn't find any results other than a forum of people more devoted to this game than I. No specifics on how to enable Debug Mode. I'll be honest, while I do like the game, the only real reason I continue to do such research on it is because it is the number one draw to this blog. Far surpassing sprites, foxgirls, magical frauleins, and bipolar vampire chicks.
Update 10.5.14
Ran a couple of tests on a tech preview of Windows Ten. Don't bother trying to install Discworld Noir. It is now too unstable to play for long. The only way I could get it to go is by clicking the "tin3_dxd.exe" file on the CD. Then it would crash randomly. The Playstation version does seem to work fairly decently. Just have to figure out how to properly configure the plugins.
I have no plans to mess with it beyond that. Maybe after the retail version of Windows 10 goes on sale I'll try to see if I can get Discworld Noir to work through a virtual machine.
Update 8.10-21-13.
Turns out I have been over thinking it the whole time. (Never thought I'd see the words "I" and "over thinking" in the same sentence.) All you have to do is install it normally. Here is the catch: each and every time time you want to play it you have to click on "New Game." On top of that you need to hit Alt and Enter to put it Windowed Mode. Then hit Esc until you have control of Lewton. Now you can go back to full screen and press F1 to load a game. So far I have had only one crash to desktop, but that was totally my fault. I was trying to look up the Registry values in my Windows 8.1 test machine and compare them to the ones on my Win 7 machine.
You see I have been having an issue now for years trying to get Discworld Noir to run on my particular Win 7 rig. Turns out I needed to fix the entries in the Registry. Since I run 64 bit the keys are in a different place.
HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Wow6432Node\Perfect Entertainment\Discworld Noir
After adjusting the "Paths" the game played fine, almost. Had to do the same process as detail above. (Note "Wow6432Node" Also note that this may (will) not represent your setup. I got involved in trying out the L-Space fix. On top of that I used ISOs I downloaded instead of the original disks I used on the 8.1 machine.I don't have the foggiest idea why it is this way in Win 7. I always test the 64 bit version of Win 8 and never had a problem with the game in that sense.)
On another note: I kinda sorta suggest getting the Discworld Noir no CD patch. I scanned it as it was downloading, I scanned it after downloading, I scanned it after unzipping, I scanned it after patching tin3_dxd.exe. So far nothing bad has happened. Makes the game much less of a hassle to play and I swear makes it a little more stable.
(I made sure to save copies if they
should ever disappear off of the live web.)
Step 01: Install VMware Player.
Step 02: Set memory to 64MB and HDD to
5GB. (You can set it higher if you want.)
Step 03: Install Windows 98 SE on the
virtual machine.
Step 04: Place VBE9X and SBPCI on Win
98 Desktop.
Step 05: Right click My Computer,
Properties, Device Manager tab, Display adapters, double-click listed
adapter, click Driver tab, Update Driver, Next, make sure “Search
for a better driver...” is selected, click Next, deselect
“Floppy...” and select “Specify a location,” click Browse,
navigate to VBE9X folder and select “Uni,” click OK, keep clicking Next
until done.
Step 06: Restart. (I forgot how much
Win 98 loves to restart.)
Step 07: Double-click SBPCI and
install.
Step 08: Restart, again.
Step 09: Install Discworld Noir.
Playing Discworld Noir:
When you start a new game you will need
to hit Alt+Enter immediately after clicking on “NEW GAME.” For
some reason during the opening sequences the game will crash to
desktop. The graphics will be screwed up, but this is the only way to
get past the crash zones. Once you see (if you can) Lewton standing
in his office hit Alt+Enter again to go back to full screen.
(Press
the Esc key often to warp past all of this.)
I have not played the whole game so I
have no idea where else the game may crash. So employ RPG Rule #1:
SAVE OFTEN! Then there is a small issue with sound. The voices just
aren't quite right. On my test machine they sound is if they are
talking into a cup. Then with headphones they had a slight electronic
sound to them. Oh well. It now works.
That is until Windows 9.
Be sure to click for a larger view to a thrill.
Now back to your regularly scheduled and very wrong blog post.
What in the world ever made me think
that I could play this game on Windows 7 and Windows 8? Well, the
fact that I am playing it on Win 7. Now I'm not talking about the
PlayStation version. That works on Win 7 and 8. Surprising since the
emulator I use is about seven years old. However, while the PSX
version is a more polished game, the PC version is more fun and
easier to play. It was designed for a mouse not a controller.
The PC version of Discworld Noir
presents a very unique challenge to play on modern systems. Hell, it
was a chore to get it to run on Windows 98. Most of the conversation
I found tended to center around running it natively or in DOSBox.
That talk was several years old and didn't discuss newer operating
systems.
So now I come in. I'm having a fun time
playing this game on Win 7 I want to tell the whole world about it.
Now comes a challenge. You see I don't have your standard setup that
most people have. Most just buy their systems off the shelf. The most common version of Win 7 is Home 64 bit.
The most common version of Windows 8 is Windows 8 64 bit. I wanted to
give a clear concise set of instructions that anybody can follow to
play Discworld Noir on their machine.
After about a day or so I gave up. I
did get the game to play, but it ran like crap. I tried many
different setups but each one failed in some way. I'm not going to
bore you and describe each one, I'm going to to skip ahead to the
ones that actually had some success. On Windows 7 using Virtual Box
with Windows 98 installed. On Windows 8 using VMWare and Windows 98.
In both instances I had to use an independent set of video drivers that really do not work all that well. The sound would be
static-y or the video would be choppy. (By the way: VMWare doesn't have audio drivers for Win 98.)
I was disappointed.
Okay, now how am I playing Discworld
Noir on Win 7? You see, Microsoft Virtual PC 2007 does work on Win 7
Pro and Ultimate. It has the drivers you need to run Windows 98.
What is the point in writing about a
failure? Well, I'm hoping that some day someone a whole lot smarter
than me may see this and go “Oh hell, all he needed to do was this.”
Then comment in on how to fix things.
There are some bonuses to having done
this project. I had to work with Windows 8 quite a bit. While it
didn't win me over, I found it to be not as bad as I thought. There's
this myth running around that Win 8 is just Win 7 with a Start
Screen. No. No. I could not get Microsoft Virtual PC, WindowsVirtual PC, or Virtual Box to work on it. (Update: VB does work now on Win 8.) I found that the Start Screen to be really
nothing more than the Start Menu with the functionality of the
desktop.
I got introduced to a nifty little
program called MagicISO. At first it's not obvious how to use it, but
I was able to figure it out after awhile. The free version is fine
for about 99% of everything you need to do. I had to use ISOs because
Win 98 doesn't recognize thumbdrives and I have never been able to
get shared folders to work.
The most important thing I did: After
all these years I finally went out and bought a real copy of
Discworld Noir.
At the end of the last volume we were told to expect this one in October. Well, October rolls around and nothing. Ironically enough not even by Halloween. (Though I think it is kind of poetic that a monster manga comes out on Election Day.) The most surprising thing was that it came out in electronic form first. I got an email from Viz saying so. I thought that was incredibly stupid. If they had changed the way the images were stored on the iPad I could see it, but they are still stored as individual JPEGs. They got it right before: Sell the hard copies for a couple of months and then release the digital version. This is the smart way because no doubt there is someone seeding torrent sites with official copies as I type this out.
It was interesting to read it that way first. The backlight of the iPad really helped me see all the detail put into it. The screen size really enhances the readability of the manga format used by Viz Media. It is really-really nice to be able to read a page flat as it was intended without it having a bend.
Overall. The writing was a little hack in this volume. Explaining Fairy Tale's plan with Moka and Alucard twice. The whole boss rush thing. Character development did get pushed a little but was overshadowed by other elements. The background artwork was mostly outstanding but was punctuated by simplicity. Same with the characters. This is a technique employed by artists the world over. They work their asses of to put awesomeness out for a few pages and then switch to ink saving, time saving, writer's camp/carpal tunnel preventing giant head on white background. I did notice what seems to be a style change going on. It's in the eyes.
Did I say "Boss Rush?" Oy Vey.
These types of stories get tedious after awhile. Made even more so because I am concurrently reading Oh My Goddess. Its boss rush is running somewhat similar to Rosavam's: The overwhelming power of the boss is defeated by the clever tactics of the goodguys. The badguys are really nothing more than monster-of-the-day with no backstory to make you care about what is going on. You do learn a little bit more about the goodguys, but it seems more of a retcon than anything else.
The first match starts off with the witch who really knows how to crack the whip: RUBY!
This match is so typical: Ruby gets her ass handed to her throughout. Ruby does get in a few blows. When it seems that Ruby is about to lose, Ruby uses her magical spell book to invoke science fact to win the day. I think it was a very clever way of teaching the reader a little bit about some of the properties of electricity.
I am basing this on pure speculation
backed up by a conversation I had with an election observer many
years ago. The rules in my state probably have changed quite a bit since
then. I certainly can't speak for whatever state or state of mind
you're in, but I can speak for both of me.
I went in and early voted a few weeks ago. I did this for several
reasons: What would the weather be like today? Would I get stuck
somewhere far away from my polling place? I mean, the day I early
voted I got stuck in a ten hour traffic jam. It was a HAZMAT spill
that closed the only two roads through that section of town and
evacuated another. On top of that some car got tangled up in the
truck that was leaking. Fortunately no one was hurt. However the
whole time I was worried the Taco Hell I had a few hours earlier
would get me moving before the highway did.
Probably the best reason for early
voting is you can time it so you don't have to wait in line. Go to
your county elections office, vote, go get another taco.
When I went in something seemed amiss
to me. We all had to fill out an absentee ballot request. Why? Give
me the ballot for my precinct and enter my name in the computer as
having voted. Then after voting I was instructed to fold my ballot
(something would should NEVER do,) stuff it into an envelope, and
then put it in into what possibly could be a secure ballot box. It
was right then it hit me: my vote may not get counted.
My vote, my dad's vote, my brother's
vote, my grandmother's vote, our friends' votes, everybody in the
elections office that day, the butcher, the baker, the candlestick
maker, the guy at the liquor store, and all the other people that early
voted may not get our votes counted.
Why?
Laziness, mostly. You see, why do all
that extra work if the margin of victory far exceeds the total number
of provisional and absentee ballots? Even if the margin is less than
the total uncounted ballots, then statistical analysis is used to
avoid counting them all. One guy gets 1000 votes and the other has
900, what are the chances that 151 of the remaining 200 absentee
ballots are going to the other guy?
So why vote at all? That's a decision you have to make. Remember: you get what you vote for. All I can really do at this point is get on my soapbox. Even if you are
caught up in the aftermath of a hurricane, snowstorm, or a south of the border restaurant's stool softener of a secret sauce, put forth the effort. So
what if your state is called for the candidate you're voting for or
against months in advance? There's other races, initiatives,
propositions, and constitutional amendments. There's also momentum.
If a candidate wins by only a small margin or in some rare cases by
fewer votes. He or she can't push their agenda forward as easily if
they had a landslide.
Do you want him to have a mandate
because you didn't even try?
